Deidara's incredibly belated birthday fic!
by Pepper Gem
Summary: And the day was filled with passionate cool feelings of art - not to mention arguments, explosions and chocolate muffins.


Celebrating Deidara's Belated Birthday

Eight Akatsuki members, excluding Deidara, rushed into Mio's home, throwing their shoes off and making themselves comfy in the living room.

"I think we should've at least knocked first?" Konan, sitting next to Pein on a couch, looked at him and waited for any signs of life in his bored face.

"I was going to suggest the very same idea, but a certain subordinate of mine decided to slam the door open…" he replied flatly.

Pein and Konan stared at Hidan, who was heavily concentrating on prayer, and sighed.

"I hear voices!" Mio skipped after the sounds. "Akatsuki!" she rejoiced and bowed deeply. When opened her eyes she saw two blue feet standing before her.

"You're really short!" Kisame propped Samehada against the divider wall and compared their height. "I'm about two feet taller than you."

"Who cares?" Kakuzu encouraged everyone to stand up in a line and compare their heights to his.

"NO," Hidan snapped and continued praying.

"I know you're about 5'8", anyway." Kakuzu held a hand up to Kisame in place of Hidan. "Yup, he's taller than us all. Cut into sushi, this idiot would be worth more, too."

A pale hand rested itself on Kisame's shoulder. "Relax, Kisame," Itachi said after seeing how offended he was by Kakuzu's comment, "You aren't an actual fish."

Kisame sighed and obediently sat next to Itachi on the floor.

"So, Mio-chan, why'dja call us here?" Tobi patted the floor to invite her to sit beside him, so she did. Tobi randomly pulled a chocolate muffin from his kunai bag and handed it to her. Mio sweat-dropped and turned the offer down.

"But…but!! I thought Mio-sempai loved chocolate muffins!! I thought Mio-sempai loved TOBI!"

"Umm, ok! I'll take the muffin!"

"YAAAAY!" -hug-

"How does he do it…??" Pein sighed. "How can _he_ act _so stupid_?!"

"Anyway, I invited you all over so that we could throw Deidara a surprise birthday party!"

Silence followed.

"Aww, c'mon guys, if Mio-sempai wants to, let's do it! This party's gonna be a 'blast'!" (wink wink!)

"Your subordinate is lame!!" the white half of Zetsu told his other half.

"_MY_ subordinate?! We're the same!"

"This is coming from the man who wanted us to separate!"

"I spoke the objective truth, not my personal opinion!!"

"The objective truth is _YO' MOM_!"

"ZOMGFLABBERSHNAFFLE!!"

Zetsu started punching himself.

…..

Itachi nodded to Pein. They agreed on behalf of all the other members to follow along with this surprise birthday party.

A small explosion was heard outside of the door - 'twas Deidara's way of ringing a doorbell.

"Quick! Hide!" Mio shooed all the others away. "Don't come out until I've set everything up! He came earlier than I expected!"

The eight of them found random spots to hide – Pein, in the basement behind the fish tanks, having a lot of fun manipulating the water… Konan, in a dark closet, challenging herself to fold a perfect origami model in utter blackness…Itachi, in the same dark closet, trying to analyze her zero-vision techniques with his Sharingan before his vision got too bad…Kisame, next to Pein, having fun telling the fish to ride the waves Pein was making…Kakuzu, in the study behind a locked door, trying to open up the safe…Hidan, on the other side of said study, praying that he didn't have to speak a word to Kakuzu the whole while and praying that Deidara didn't detonate the entire freaking house…Tobi hid in a toilet….?! … and Zetsu merged with the plants that decorated the patio door.

Mio opened the front door. "Hi, Deidara-sempai!"

"…Sempai? I like it, hmm!" he smiled.

"But…Tobi calls you sempai all the time, and you never seem to like it."

"**Tobi's an idiot**."

-silence-

"So, nee-chan, why'd you invite me here, hnn?"

"Umm…to…talk!"

Deidara put on a confident smirk. "About art?"

"Art?"

"Art…I love to blow things up... with my art, that is, hm!"

"Your art?"

Deidara held up a clay spider.

"Behold! Aren't you impressed? The product pursuing sophisticated line work matched with two-dimensional deformation! Hm! Now this is art! But my art doesn't end here! None of my works are stationary! When they have physical form, they're little more than models, hm! But this explodes! And with that explosion, its essence is propelled to greatness – at that moment of becoming the true work of art I intended! It's in that fleeting moment of splendor that I see true art! Hm! Art is a blast!!"

-In the closet-: "Dang, he's annoying," Konan whined.

"Do you think he's done yet?" Itachi questioned.

She sighed. "Who knows…" .

Mio's eyes grew wide and little hearts started floating all around her. "Art IS a blast! Hey, I want to go outside with you and see these grand explosions for myself!"

"Hm!" Deidara grinned and marched outside.

"SET EVERYTHING UP!" Mio whispered as quietly as she could to Zetsu. Zetsu gathered the others and had them set up the decorations and lay out the cake while Mio and Deidara were outside – all the while plugging their ears from the loud explosions.

"That bleeping art-obsessed bleep!" Hidan felt like killing Deidara for all the noise he was making.

Kakuzu sweat-dropped. "You bleeping religion-obsessed bleep!"

"YOU BLEEPING MONEY-OBSESSED BLEEP!!"

Tobi broke them apart by yelling "KASHI! MAKE ME A SANDWICH!"

Nobody knew how to react to this.

"Pein-sama." Itachi activated his Sharingan and looked at the cake.

"What is it?"

Before Itachi could reply, Mio arrived at a window and said it was time for them all to surprise Deidara. The patio door opened…and Deidara walked through. Pein even forced Hidan to wear a smile and wish the artist a happy birthday…

"HAPPY NINETEENTH!!" the nine shouted.

"Huh?!" Deidara blinked. "Since when does Akatsuki celebrate birthdays?!"

"Since it's your birthday after failing miserably at catching the three-tails!! You're so awesome!" Tobi hugged him.

"You forget I helped you out! You didn't do it alone! If you're a member of Akatsuki, being cool means not being such a big mouth. In a way, cool equals art. Anyway, in the passionate instant when you begin to feel the cool feelings of art--"

"Senpai, you seem to be the big mouth right now... Hahaha!"

"Uh-oh…" Zetsu sighed.

"……." Deidara tried to hold in his anger, without success. "DEATH BY SUFFOCATION!"

"AHHH!!" Tobi ran away for his life.

"Now that that's settled…" Deidara shook all of the Tobi-germs off of his cloak, "I SEE CAKE, HMM!"

Everyone sweat-dropped. Deidara must've had too many chocolate muffins from Tobi and had developed a love of sweet chocolate-y desserts…

"It's very artistic, hm! Looks like something I'd make!"

"Thank you!" Mio smiled.

"You made it?!" Deidara looked from the cake to Mio.

"Yup!"

Deidara stared at Mio, the passionate cool feelings of art rising between the two…

"I sense something…opposite of tension," Itachi whispered to Kisame.

"You didn't need to say it, it's obvious," Kisame whispered back. "You can tell something's going on when he _stops talking_…"

BUT, interrupting the passionate cool feelings of art were the sweet chocolaty explosions of cake!

-BOOM-

And Deidara's face was entirely plastered.

"Surprise!!" everyone yelled.

Deidara was so happy for the cake's explosion he was speechless. This art…this incredible art that was on his very level but was created by someone else…exploded!

"Art is so a blast!" Mio laughed happily.

"You all knew the cake would explode?!" Itachi tilted his head. "I was just about to tell all of you that there was a bomb in there--"

"We could've sold the cake…" Kakuzu mumbled. "It was very well-done." He grabbed a camera and walked up to Deidara, taking a picture of his frosted face.

"TO EBAY!!" Kakuzu vanished.

HAPPY B-DAY, DEI-SAN!! XD


End file.
